Joel Stein has ideas

So next time one in eight of you decide to hold a giant afternoon party downtown, ring me up. I have some good ideas. Like that maybe when you're marching for American citizenship, you should leave the Mexican flags at home. Listen, we got it, you're from Mexico.

Perhaps a sombrero or one of those cool wrestling masks would get that across better than waving a flag for a different country when you're asking to be a citizen here. Also, I could bring bagels. It's the only decent food my people ever came up with.