Wednesday, February 23, 2005


Interesting take here regarding being a mom. Ever since that Newsweek article came out. I've read various reactions over the blogsphere, and most I've met with a bit of antagonism. Moms decrying others for trying to be perfect, while claiming that THEY are doing things better.

Well, first of all - they should call the job of "mother" a practice, just like they do with law firms, because I tell ya, the day I learn it all, I'll probably be in my grave. I haven't read a million parenting books and tried every strategy blindly, but I have looked here and there when I had a particular problem.

To the chagrin of those who eschew the "supermommy" ideal - I nursed, co-slept, and cloth diapered (although, my middle children were disosie babies). I didn't do these things because I read about them in a book (and to make that accusation is rather insulting.) I did them because they were what felt right to me, and I enjoyed them. I home school. I don't make play dates for them, and one activity per child is plenty. They don't have tvs in their bedrooms, and none own a Gameboy. I wish I could open the front door and watch them ride their bikes to play baseball in the park, but sadly, when they arrived, they would be the only children present (unless, of course, there was some sort of organized team practicing at the time.) I also wish I could throw the tv away, but even I enjoy a bit of mindless entertainment from time to time, so that would be hypocritical.

Motherhood is hard. The days can be boring. You can feel isolated. At times you are a slave to the little demands they make, and I often wonder who really is in charge. Will I survive being a parent? Right now, it's touch and go.

But, I do know that I'm not faced with the same issues that the women in the Newsweek article face. These women are, actually, pretty foreign to me. Because, while they are all working, or shuttling their children from school, to play dates, to violin practice, to karate ... I'm sitting here in my house with my kids. I've opted out of the rat race. We don't drive the best car and don't have perfect clothes. I cut my kid's hair (and my husband's.) Vacations have been few and far between the last ten years, but they were fun when we could find the means. They never went too Kindermusic, and they didn't learn to swim when they were 6 months old. I'm a slacker mom.

I don't really know what my point is, but to say that many of these women do it to themselves. It isn't society's fault, and it isn't a "middle class" lifestyle that is to blame. People, imho, just want to much. They want the perfect house, and the perfect car, and the perfect children. Ain't gonna happen. Deal with it.

This is a wandering post, and I probably should just delete it. But I won't. For now.